tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post4497521696382232678..comments2023-11-14T00:05:35.172-05:00Comments on One of Life's Little Surprises: Dementia's Wife Steps Out of the Caregiver RoleCarolehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-65988887020694329792017-11-19T15:40:10.727-05:002017-11-19T15:40:10.727-05:00Hi Jude. Thanks for your comment. This journey has...Hi Jude. Thanks for your comment. This journey has surprised me along the way. Grief comes in waves, and many times it is just not expected. I'm sorry about the loss of your husband. <br /><br />Someone once suggested that what I was going through was "worse" than what she had experienced. I don't think you can look at it that way. Each experience is going to be different, including how we manage and cope with our feelings. <br /><br />The kindness from you and the others on this blog is a gift that will always be in my heart. It helps me as I travel this journey, knowing that I am not alone.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-67946418841901106912017-11-19T13:36:45.273-05:002017-11-19T13:36:45.273-05:00Carole, what you are experiencing with the loss of...Carole, what you are experiencing with the loss of your life partner is just incredibly sad. My heart goes out to you. I lost my husband at a young age, but his was a sudden death. When you lose someone that you love, whether slowly or suddenly, it takes a long time to work through all the stages of grief. <br /><br />JudeDr Sock https://www.blogger.com/profile/13378594360241846301noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-86635203043133625072017-11-17T13:03:17.073-05:002017-11-17T13:03:17.073-05:00Hi Gigi! Thanks for your well wishes. I'm so f...Hi Gigi! Thanks for your well wishes. I'm so fortunate to have found Dr. M. It's wonderful to be able to have someone help me process some of the more difficult emotions/feelings/situations that I'm facing right now.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-86978023279716588462017-11-17T11:59:11.913-05:002017-11-17T11:59:11.913-05:00It's a good idea to see a psychotherapist on a...It's a good idea to see a psychotherapist on a regular basis. Good thoughts for you, Carole. Carry on!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-91583661465388332102017-11-17T07:12:40.616-05:002017-11-17T07:12:40.616-05:00Hi Jo Ann. Thanks for your comment. Yes, I will fo...Hi Jo Ann. Thanks for your comment. Yes, I will follow my heart. I'm feeling stronger about my decision to spend the holiday with Jim.<br /><br />I was rereading some of my older posts. The wave of emotions that I experienced is striking. I don't know how I managed to make it through such difficult times. But I believe that the wonderful support of you and the other caring readers of this blog really helped me through this difficult period of my life.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-86717961480132329112017-11-17T02:22:08.521-05:002017-11-17T02:22:08.521-05:00I’m so pleased to hear how well everything is goin...I’m so pleased to hear how well everything is going, relatively speaking. Yes, follow your heart. Glad you have Dr. M. Perhaps you will want to cease this blog’s topic, or begin a new one some time in the future, or not. Whatever you choose is not irreversible. Certainly you have my continuing support and good wishes. joaredhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09999395062839739698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-39726692923841418012017-11-16T11:03:25.060-05:002017-11-16T11:03:25.060-05:00Hi Christina. Thanks for your comment. When I writ...Hi Christina. Thanks for your comment. When I write my post, the words flow fairly easily. I think that is because I am truly writing from my heart. That my words might help, support or educate others is a gift I will never take for granted. <br /><br />Since Jim has moved into the nursing home his decline of course, continues. I know that this loss will be felt very deeply by me. Realizing how therapeutic it is for me to write, and that it is a help and support to others, I likely will continue with my posts.<br /><br />Thanks so much for your kind words Christina.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-4278250327252218342017-11-16T10:24:42.432-05:002017-11-16T10:24:42.432-05:00What you have written has been heartfelt,honest, h...What you have written has been heartfelt,honest, heartbreaking and a true look into a world, I for one, have no clue about. I've learned a lot about dementia/Alzheimers so for that I thank you. Life can turn in an instance and you have shared your and Jim's journey. I appreciate that and would love for you to write now and then. tahoegirl.bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02018956654761369565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-54981559614606672112017-11-15T21:08:28.251-05:002017-11-15T21:08:28.251-05:00Thanks for your perspective Jabberwalky! I can alw...Thanks for your perspective Jabberwalky! I can always count on you to help me look at things a little differently. You're right; while I may not be on the frontline of caregiving, I'm still providing for many of his needs, especially the emotional and psychological. <br /><br />I've read where being a caregiver can be a time of personal growth. I think this is true for me; I've learned so much from Jim as he has struggled with this journey. And it has helped me to prioritize what is really important in life. For that I am grateful.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-36980262505736600272017-11-15T19:50:32.801-05:002017-11-15T19:50:32.801-05:00Oh Carole,
You are still a caregiver, Jim still ha...Oh Carole,<br />You are still a caregiver, Jim still has dementia - it's just a different format now. It's all part of that world. Your reports are so touching, thoughtful and valuable - please keep writing when you feel moved to do so. A time will come when you will be ready to leave this behind, but maybe not quite yet. Thanks for your great blog!Jabberwalky08https://www.blogger.com/profile/06554545417173075680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-966845840874131902017-11-15T15:21:29.783-05:002017-11-15T15:21:29.783-05:00Hi Carol. You are so sweet! Thanks for your kind w...Hi Carol. You are so sweet! Thanks for your kind words. Yes, I'm convinced to continue blogging. Actually, I think that all of my kind readers are my Guardian Angels! I am blessed to have such a wonderful community of caring people in my life. Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-14056655731734222152017-11-15T15:14:02.862-05:002017-11-15T15:14:02.862-05:00Hi Mage. Yes, I will definitely continue to blog. ...Hi Mage. Yes, I will definitely continue to blog. I'm overwhelmed with all of the comments and encouragement I have received. Thanks for your kind words. I wish you well on your journey.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-7353224293358990142017-11-15T15:12:22.417-05:002017-11-15T15:12:22.417-05:00Hi Glenda. What a heartwarming comment! Thank you ...Hi Glenda. What a heartwarming comment! Thank you so much. I am humbled to think that my writing is helpful and supportive to others. <br /><br />Yes, I am definitely finding time for myself. Just this afternoon I shared lunch with my dear friend Julie. This is something that would have been impossible 6 weeks ago. It felt so good to be able to relax and enjoy time with her. Relax.....it seemed unobtainable just a few weeks ago. But here I am, resting assured that Jim is safe and he is content. It allows me to now enjoy the simple things in life again.<br /><br />Because you watched your father-in-law succumb to this illness, you know only too well the toll it takes on everyone involved. I hope your husband escapes this disease. <br /><br />Thanks for your encouragement and kind words. Keep in touch Glenda; your comment in particular has encouraged me to continue posting. And for that I am grateful.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-6706603548659319562017-11-15T15:01:56.174-05:002017-11-15T15:01:56.174-05:00Hi DJan. I'm pretty certain I will continue to...Hi DJan. I'm pretty certain I will continue to blog. The heartfelt response is encouraging me to do so. <br /><br />The rest of my days.....that is a good topic for a future blog post! The short answer is plan, plan some more and then plan some more. I spend a good part of the day with Jim, and then the rest is on preparing emotionally, legally and financially for my future. <br /><br />Thank you for your caring and for your thoughtful words. I'm sending the love and hugs right back your way!Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-71977361673674221022017-11-15T12:58:29.222-05:002017-11-15T12:58:29.222-05:00I'll ring in with my own plea to please contin...I'll ring in with my own plea to please continue writing. I look forward to your posts and worry when too much time lapses between entries. I know you have Guardian Angels watching out for you. Blessings to you and Jim. CarolTehachaphttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12973382680508334105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-36957161032626245492017-11-15T11:41:57.374-05:002017-11-15T11:41:57.374-05:00Please don't stop the blog. It offers a rich ...Please don't stop the blog. It offers a rich handholding for those of us who have fragile, dying, or ill friends. You give us a guide line to follow. You offer hope. Thank you.Magehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17333086721654817750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-21917204126719720742017-11-15T09:36:44.131-05:002017-11-15T09:36:44.131-05:00Carole, I've been following your blog posts fo...Carole, I've been following your blog posts for sometime now and I'm so happy to see you posting again. It's so good to hear that Jim is doing well in his new surroundings. <br />I hope that you will continue to write. I don't think you realize how important your journey is to others. Because I watched my father-in-law succumb to this illness, I knew how Jim's journey would progress,but the insight you have provided through YOUR journey is what i've needed to read. I may eventually go through the same experience with my husband and reading how you've handled it all and the emotions you've experienced has meant so much. Your journey certainly hasn't ended and I'm hopeful for you and your future. Now that you know Jim is contented and safe, I hope you will find some time to explore your own interests and find some contentment and happiness in your part of the journey. Hugs to you, GlendaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-82396078361523384692017-11-15T08:48:06.141-05:002017-11-15T08:48:06.141-05:00I do hope you continue to write in your blog and l...I do hope you continue to write in your blog and let me know what you decide to do with the rest of your days. It's been a real eye opener for me to learn how quickly dementia can progress, and your writing is always heartfelt and caring. Please know that you are important to many people, including me. Blessings to you and Jim, no matter what you decide to do. Sending you virtual hugs. :-)DJanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07152183871573797791noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-53225153061952460862017-11-15T06:32:06.398-05:002017-11-15T06:32:06.398-05:00Hi Valerie. I have found an inner strength that I ...Hi Valerie. I have found an inner strength that I did not know that I had. I do believe that a lot of ii comes from my love for my husband. I know that you too know the deep sense of loss that comes with losing your spouse. <br /><br />Holidays are always filled with emotion, aren't they. And I think it is even harder when you find yourself alone, as opposed to sharing it with your beloved spouse. As the holiday season approaches, I know that you too will be feeling the loss of your Joe.<br /><br />I appreciate the encouragement to continue to write. I believe you are right that it may continue to help the healing process as I experience the loss of my Jim. Thanks for your comment Valerie.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-3071126551990529612017-11-15T06:12:41.890-05:002017-11-15T06:12:41.890-05:00'I will make the best of it and appreciate wha...'I will make the best of it and appreciate what we still have together'<br /><br />It is the only way, Carole. I had similar feelings when my Joe was so poorly. We share our love with those who need it most. This time of year is hardest because it is the time when we should be together with loved ones. I feel my loss more as Christmas approaches. I hope you do continue to blog, you may find it helps to heal. Valeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12099030819314552958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-87530508112573773022017-11-15T06:07:19.243-05:002017-11-15T06:07:19.243-05:00Hi J. Thanks for stopping by and for letting me kn...Hi J. Thanks for stopping by and for letting me know that you enjoy reading my blog. I believe we are all vulnerable to this journey of dementia. Whether it impacts our family directly, or a neighbor or a friend, or even the person we see in the grocery store. This epidemic will effect all of us at some point in our lives. The more we understand about this cruel disease, the better equipped we are to be ready to face the challenges that come our way. <br /><br />Happy Thanksgiving to you too J! I'm looking forward to a low stress day, one I can truly enjoy and celebrate with my sweetheart all that we have to be thankful for.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-22902796892088431342017-11-15T05:58:34.805-05:002017-11-15T05:58:34.805-05:00Hi Becky. I am so touched by your thoughtful comme...Hi Becky. I am so touched by your thoughtful comment. It is truly heartwarming to think that others are touched by our story. <br /><br />You mention "each stage of this journey". Sometimes I think about that, trying to imagine what it will be like with further progression of this disease. But I never imagined how quickly he would decline, nor could I imagine how this journey has played out thus far. <br /><br />Perhaps it protects us from knowing too much too soon. We can focus on the here and now and hope for the strength for what the future holds.Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-81516532811535874482017-11-14T23:56:47.575-05:002017-11-14T23:56:47.575-05:00My heart aches for you and Jim. I always give tha...My heart aches for you and Jim. I always give thanks for making you so strong. I love hearing your stories. Keep up the strength. Wishing both of you Happy Thanksgiving!jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14140726914705944286noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-54598178002658336682017-11-14T20:51:30.209-05:002017-11-14T20:51:30.209-05:00Hi Carole, I am one of those silent lurkers who ha...Hi Carole, I am one of those silent lurkers who has been deeply touched by yours and Jim's journey; I watch eagerly for an update. I hope you will keep sharing your story with us. You have done a beautiful job of caring for your dear love and how happy we are to know he is peaceful and well cared for in the facility. Take one day at a time. I know you will have the strength for each stage of this journey. Best to you and Jim, BeckyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1268654142180590336.post-45250014943271976392017-11-14T19:16:02.090-05:002017-11-14T19:16:02.090-05:00Hi Sue. Thank you so much for your kind words. It ...Hi Sue. Thank you so much for your kind words. It means so much to me to hear that my blog in some way helped you with your father-in-law. <br /><br /> Even though I saw some of the early warning signs a few years ago, I never could have anticipated where Jim and I would be today on this dementia journey. You are absolutely right when you say that we never know what direction our life will take us. One of life's little surprises! Carolehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17237805282007404140noreply@blogger.com