Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Technology Challenges and Changes

I knew that I would be away from home today for a couple of hours, so I encouraged Jim to meet his buddies for the usual Wednesday lunch at a local restaurant. At first he said no, he wasn't interested. I let it go, knowing that if I pushed it he would likely become more resistant. My tactic worked! As I was getting ready to leave the house he announced that he was headed out to lunch with the guys. Hurray!

When I returned home he was pretty unhappy. The restaurant was changed from the usual meeting place. It's possible this was decided the week before and Jim didn't remember. He sat and waited for quite a while and finally decided to just go home when he realized no one was coming.

According to Jim, phone calls were made. Details are sketchy, and in stressful situations I don't press for details. It sounds like his friend tried to call him on his cell phone. In a previous post I wrote about the difficulty we had trying to find a phone that was similar to the one he had before. (His prior cell phone account and phone number were discontinued by the carrier for inactivity.) I believe he had problems today either trying to make a call or taking a call with his cell phone. He was just so upset, it was hard to watch.

So, back to the drawing board. I'll continue to look for another basic phone that will work for him. What makes it challenging is that he insists on a flip phone, he wants it to be no larger than certain dimensions, and no camera.

When his stress level is that high, it is hard for me to be internally calm. I really have to fight myself not to take in the anxiety he is experiencing. Nearly impossible. When he is that upset/anxious, he gets quite loud, expresses his anger, and generally is quite unhappy. I try very hard just to listen, stay calm, and try to put myself in his shoes. I know he is not angry at me, he is angry and frustrated at the situation. But boy, it sure is hard to not internalize all of the negativity, even if it is not directed at me.

This evening he is feeling better and his mood is back to baseline. A little while ago he said "thanks for helping me out and doing all that you do for me." How sweet!

We have an electrician coming on Friday to replace a faulty light switch. I discovered that Jim had taken the plate off with a screwdriver and was looking intently at the wiring. He reminded me that the red wires are "hot". Oh my goodness. It actually was pretty easy to get him to agree to having an electrician come to do this minor repair. For some, this may seem like an easy household repair. But I know NOTHING about electrical, and I certainly didn't want to rely on Jim's memory to do this repair.

We have a list of contractors and workers that we have kept updated over the years. These men and women are worth their weight in gold. It's reassuring to know that good help is available, if needed.

Well, thanks for stopping by and listening to me. I so appreciate each and every one of you!


10 comments:

  1. It's terrible to be so confused. I am sorry that he was not able to meet with his friends. Socializing with them would have made him very happy.

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    1. Thanks Gigi. Even though he sometimes resists the socialization, when he actually does go, he always comes home happy and energized. I'm planning something for myself next Wednesday so that he'll be encouraged to go again :-)

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  2. I appreciate you taking the time to write these posts. Although I cannot do anything about your situation, I can offer my sympathy for both of you, and I am always interested in your solutions to these problems. I'm also sending along a virtual hug for you! :-)

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    1. Thanks DJan. Just writing these posts is so therapeutic for me. I feel like I am not alone and that my blogosphere friends are caring and listening. In addition, by putting my thoughts into words it helps me to process, problem solve and put things into their proper perspective. Doesn't get any better than that :-) Sending hugs right back to you!

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  3. Oops, I can't answer my iPhone! Nobody ever calls me for me to get any experience. I can do just about everything on my iPhone I can do on the computer. I write a lot of my blog posts using my iPhone. I just can't operate the phone.

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    1. Ha! That's pretty funny! Especially given how savvy you are on the computer! I don't get a lot of calls on my iPhone. Most people either text me or call on our landline.

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  4. Such a shame that Jim missed connections with his friends. Could his friends email him the location and time? My gang does that and it is always nice to have a written copy to refer to and saves all the phone time.
    It had to have really helped you for him to acknowledge his gratitude. Sweet and needed.
    I hope you both get to enjoy the next one.

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    1. Good idea about the email. Jim does pretty well with visual reminders.

      He can be sweet as pie, and usually is most of the time. It sure helps to soothe over the rough spots when he is feeling frustrated and angry. Thanks Patti.

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  5. Thank you so much for your visit and comment, Carole. I'm sorry about all you're going through. I can imagine how difficult it is to care for a husband. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. I enjoy your blog Kay! I love to read about all of your adventures in Hawaii. I appreciate your comment and thoughtful words. Some times are better than others. I'm learning to embrace the good and try to roll with the rest.

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