Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Pretty Good Week

Jim's riding lawnmower essentially died, requiring the purchase of a new one. I was busy this past week and weekend getting ready for and co-hosting a wedding shower for one of my nieces, as well as helping my elderly mother. Normally I would have accompanied him to Lowe's,  just to be in a supportive role. But circumstances did not allow for this.

I knew something was slightly amiss when he called me with the question of which credit card he should use. Told him it was OK to use either one. He replied "I didn't know if we had enough left on the cards". I didn't really understand what he meant by that, but it seemed like he was looking for direction, so I told him to use the blue American Express card.

Jim and I have never carried any debt, other than a mortgage. We have always paid our credit card bills in full every month. He knows this, at least he used to know this. I've been doing all the finances, including managing our investments for the past several years. I always discuss updates with him to make sure he feels like he is still in the loop. But honestly, I don't think he would ask if I didn't bring it up.

When we connected at home later in the day, he attempted to articulate some problem with making the purchase of the lawnmower. It was so unclear to me what he was explaining, that I just kind of listened, and reminded myself of why I need to go with him for these kinds of purchases. The next morning I heard him on the phone engaged in a confusing conversation with someone from Lowe's. I'm guessing that sales people must run into this time to time. In the end it all worked out. Two days later the new lawnmower was delivered.

One of my favorite bloggers recently wrote about the uncertainty of knowing exactly where her husband is in his progression of dementia. https://aliceinmemoryland.com/2016/05/23/so-how-is-ralph-doing/  I relate to that; the need to know where we are at, what does the future look like, how will this play out, and how will it all end. But that is not how life works, of course.

Jim actually seems stable at the moment. Will he stay this way for a long time? I hope so, because this seems doable. I am getting better at knowing how to respond and how to make things less stressful. For both of us! Life is good. 

6 comments:

  1. Your post sounds pretty up beat. That's very good. I don't know a lot about dementia but I do think it has periods of stability. Let's hope you're in one and it lasts for a very long time.

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    1. Thanks Linda. I'm learning to appreciate what we have in the moment. It's been an adjustment for both of us. As I get more in tune with the circumstances, the better I am at responding, and therefore the better the outcome.

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  2. Just got on to your blog thru Satisfying Retirement. I look forward to following, and ... god bless.

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    1. Thanks Tom. I love your blog. I have enjoyed following the veterans of the blogosphere, such as yourself and Bob Lowry. As a writer, I am sure you understand the power of putting one's thoughts into words. It provides an outlet for our thoughts, feelings and opinions, and allows us a unique opportunity to connect with others who care.

      Thanks for including me on your blog roll!

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  3. Linda read my mind. I too hope these periods are long and give you some ease. You have such a great attitude. Jim is quite fortunate.

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    1. Thanks Patti. You are a great encourager! I am feeling better these days about my ability to find happiness and stability in our present situation. I'm grateful for a good, strong marriage that has taken us this far. It's a good foundation for our future.

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